CAST OF CHARACTERS

Inspector Willie Wong, who has run out of names for his sons, and possesses a platitude for every occasion.

General Chang, a warlord's warlord.

Doctor Aristotle Ho, the Insidious Oriental Dentist, who plans to take over the world or lower south Brooklyn, whichever comes first.

Rupert Cornwall, a scoundrel with a passion for rubies, wealthy women, and duplicity.

Harvey Edwards, former halfback, now the fastest rickshaw puller in Macao.

Mr. Mako, diminutive Japanese detective who specializes in judo, disguise, archaeology and jealousy.

Cuddles, an authentic Chinese dragon.

The Scorpion Lady, a beautiful but deadly smuggler with a truly outstanding pair of lungs.

Sir Mortimer Edgerton-Smythe, who will stop at nothing to bring Doctor Aristotle Ho to justice.

Sam Hightower, a semi-abominable Snowman who is hiding out from the mob in the mountains of Tibet.

Capturing Clyde Calhoun, world-famous hunter who brings ’em back alive. Not intact, but alive.

Lisara, a 111-year-old virgin who has taken up the High Priestess trade.

Akbar, a learning-disabled elephant.

Lady Edith Quilton, the richest widow lady in Rajasthan Province.

And our narrator, The Right Reverend Honorable Doctor Lucifer Jones, a handsome, noble and resourceful Christian gentlemen who has certain unresolved disagreements with eight separate Asian governments over the finer points of the law.